Everyday Longings

imagesThe day comes to a halt for us. I part with the oars held weakly in my hands. As distance from you grows with the sleek wooden sticks wading across the clear, turbulent mass of water, eyes well up with sights of nothingness and bleak. The stream arising out of the lachrymal well spills over into the lake. The palms cannot do the needful being occupied with rowing me across to shores far away from you. The salty stream then dries up leaving a trail on shallow cheeks.

Myself at the helm then attend to the events and invitations from distant shores and the crescendo of the just concluded embrace loosens its grip. As eyes dry up, the depths of the sea throw up novel mysteries, whose ability to frighten and amuse begins to win over the malady unleashed by departure. With the sharks I then smile faintly and talk, on the erring oars I frown and to the sail I cheer “Keep it up!”. I now look for my face in the waves and comb my hair in the wind. I have been ill shaven and crass for the entire day.

Come the other shore, I look back and see you tending towards him engrossed in adulation and about to kiss. The spell is finally broken for the day. I anchor once again with a resolve to not return tomorrow in the same direction. Fatigue suddenly gives way to disgust and the mind begins to philosophize and pity oneself more than the world. I calculate my life, weigh people and my feelings for them in balances, love them when they are nice to me, loathe them when they don’t seem to care. My claim to fame in all this daily routine is the sturdiness of my sail and the resilience of my boat and my swimming skills. The current in the waves has thus far always been favorable. It should be rightly said about love that it comes to you only when you are in the mood for it. It vaporizes in the face of chaos as it approaches and quite surprisingly delves into anti amorous textures when my expectations are countered or reciprocated with love that is not meant for me. The loathing that sets in is as ephemeral as the love that ruled a while ago. The next morning is here and I have woken up fresh and lively and I jump once again to swim across the pool. To meet you once again and to embrace life that keeps the day going. To foolishly tell myself the wise thing once again, “Today could well be my day- the day I spent dreaming of all of last night”.

33 thoughts on “Everyday Longings

  1. To be honest when. i read your blog a sense of calm descends on me!the english is so lucid and well,you know it makes you feel so peaceful!I don’t think I am making sense,but yes,great post again!
    Best Wishes ,
    N

    1. I should reciprocate with equal frankness. Reading your blog for me is like reading the mind of a being in whose head have come together the thoughts of a saint, a college going boy, a squirrel and a parrot!!!! Thats the energy and keenness with which you write!
      🙂

  2. Well, I think you should be getting more likes and comments on this post. This post is very well written and the feelings are beautifully expressed (but by this I don’t mean your other posts are bad). You deserve more for this pellucid prose.

  3. The first paragraph reminded me of a lovely old song “Odam nadhiyinile”. Wonderful post as always Amit🙂
    I couldn’t help but agree with Nabdip. You posts always have some ‘serenity’ quality to them. The words conjure images instantly.

    1. Just listening to that lovely boatman’s song!! The appreciative comment and the music made my evening!

      There is another similar song I know of “Kadale neele Kadale” which i quite like!!

      Regards!

        1. That does sound great🙂 But I hope you are referring to a malayalam friend of yours because something tells me you think I am from Kerala. I am from Tamil Nadu😀

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