Being Caged

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You would know if you have spent a night all by yourself in the countryside. How the dampening moonlight quivers around the eyes while delivering to the ears packets of rhythmic noise from a wedding party on miles away. In the lonely sheet of helplessness where you lay uneasy, these parcels recreate the many weddings you have been to in the past. So, the groom must have arrived and his feet must have already been washed. The guests must be feasting somewhere close by. The band must still be playing for the over enthusiastic friends of the groom. One of these would shake a leg to the whiskey in his head. The percussion strikes all too gently for its intensity and its distance. Listening to it you relish the charm of being by yourself. Loony bird nights.

Feels like a street say from somewhere in a dusty town, The sun has set. The street is fast emptying while you continue staring at it from the street side bench. Chill sets in quietly and the hands reach for the warmth of the trouser pockets. You wish that the town permitted you a night out on the street without anyone questioning or offering shelter. You wish one of the home-bound vendors could take you along for a meal and his biography. Tales of his white female buyers would be delicious dessert. The vendors leave, the bench begins to hurt and you get up only to find a reason to go back. To that pending assignment or to that regular TV show.

You are awake on a rainy midnight and are in a hotel room close to the sea. Sleepless and aroused you think of the book to read, Turn a leaf and dream aloud yet again. A sea is so much about life and warmth. Yet you don’t have access to any of it. May be because you don’t belong. But the scene from the window tells me that the ones who belong too are leaving for their huts. Their baskets and stands rolled up in one. Who does the sea belong to then if it has to spend the night on its own. May be I am only being jealous of people who don’t really own the things I am now yearning to own. Doesn’t everyone go to sleep night after night? Leaving the groom and the bride, the dust and the bench, the hotel and the beach-all to themselves?

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13 thoughts on “Being Caged

  1. Very thoughtful.
    I have always wondered why we have to sleep so much time sleeping.
    If I try to go without sleep for to long, I cannot do it.
    Our minds have to leave this world for awhile…it is required.
    Perhaps sleep was designed to prepare people to let go of it all in the end.

    • Thats a beautiful way in which you just put it Mary! The thought that sleep was designed to prepare us to let go of it all in the end sends me thinking all the more. Pleased to read this comment on my post! Thanks! :)

  2. Amit, that is an incredible bouquet of memories, metaphysics and philosophy on the windowsill of everyday life. That last part about the sea stopped me still! Reminds me of Pablo Neruda:

    ““When I see the sea again
    has the sea seen me or hasn’t it seen me?
    Why the waves ask me
    The same that I ask them?
    And why do they hit the rock
    With such a futile enthusiasm?
    Don’t they get tired of repeating
    their declaration to the sand?”

  3. “One of these would shake a leg to the whiskey in his head”… Hahaha! Now, what will you do if one of them ask you to shake a leg, too, knowing, of course, their state of mind?

  4. Hey Amit! I have been dreading the visit to my blog and ones – such as yours – that I follow, owing to the inactivity. And yet, posts like these never fail to leave a smile on my face.

    One of your most thoughtful posts with almost a poetic beauty. Thank you.

    • Thanks Pranav. Appreciation coming from someone extremely sensitive is always heartwarming! So, thanks again!

      Yeah. The inactivity on Mes Caprices totally bothers me and disappoints me no end. Sincere appeal from my side that you DO find some time out! (Its almost a ritual stating that I love the Farewell to Roorkee poem on your blog!). Please do write more often. Hugs!

  5. you know late at night after dinner, before hitting sack i go out in my verandah and often long to go out for a long walk in the street- but the sane part of me stops me!

    it will be so wonderful if one day i could go out, take a long walk till my legs become too tired to walk… without the least tension of being mugged or hurt :)

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